Things From My Childhood That Make Me Slightly Odd.

• When I was little I loved cherry tomatoes until one day I saw my Mum cut one in half and the middle creeped me out so much I didn't eat them again for years.
• The floors of B&Q had weird multi-coloured patterns on them so whenever we had to get DIY stuff, I stepped on the same colours an equal amount on each foot. But without people noticing, crafty.
• If I moved my hand in a certain way I had to repeat it until I did it exactly the same as I did in the first place.
• I always thought that if no part of my body was outside the duvet then nothing could hurt me.
• I used to get mega upset if I thought someone was going to yell at me, even if they weren't.
• Old ladies always tried to touch my hair, as though they'd never seen long hair before.
• If I didn't know the answer to a question in class I just wrote the letters or numbers so close together that the teacher wouldn't be able to tell whether I'd got it right or not.
• I always thought that ketchup and baked beans were overrated.
• One time when I had cut myself just before having a bath, not long after hearing that sharks could smell blood from really far away, I keep thinking that a shark would smash up through the end of my bath Jaws-styley and attack me. I kept to the other end of the bath.
• I used to love collecting Pokemon cards but never actually played the Pokemon game.
• I used to have elaborate back stories for all of my toys.

"Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns,

I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may."

Happy things.

• Hugs for no reason.
• Parks in the rain.
• Kids TV/toys from the 90's.
• Affectionate animals.
• Brothers.
• Accents.
• Presents.
• Not having to go to work.
• Pay day.
• Tea.
• Spray paints.
• Making nails/hair look pretty.
• It boxes/quiz machines.
• Red.
• Random days that turn out to be awesome.
• "You're a -whatever they said-" and "so's your face" jokes.
• Ye olde english.
• Letters.
• Animation.
• Shopping.

"Oh my word! are we back to the crunch?

Here we fucking go, the crunch this the crunch that, why are you so obsessed with the crunch?!"


Things that bug me.


• Unnecessary quotation marks, it just makes everything sound like a lie, examples here.
• People who judge me for going to McDonalds, because you know what? I like it.
• People speaking in a language I don't understand while looking at me, it make me nervous, as does waiting to be told my till variance at the end of the day at work.
• People that complain about queues when they decide to shop for cards the week before christmas in a mega cheap card shop on their lunch break, as though no one else will be there.
• Colour v color, why have a different spelling? Also, K v C, Krispy Kremes etc and when people suddenly change the spelling of their names from ending with a y to ending in ie. I just don't get it.
• People who decide it's fine to take what they want from you but then just treat you as an acquaintance that they don't talk to about anything relevant, unless you make them/ask them outright.
• Not being excited about christmas.
• Awkward silences.
• Pressure and responsibility, I'm clumsy and a bit rubbish at important things so it doesn't usually go well.
• My hair, also that hats hardly ever look good on me.