Epic Fail.

Your Sleeves Are Mad Puffy.

Confess.

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it


Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.


Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly


That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

=]

The Fifth In A Series Of Truths.

With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever.

19.

OK.

New Dress + Friends + No Work Tomorrow = Awesome.

The Forth In A Series Of Truths.

"Love one another forever and cheat the shit out of anyone who may be in the way of a lucrative scam

Shit! We say, we'd be a fool not to!! Of course we would, mainly because no one is really minding YOUR back. We're all alone. We put our faith in that. Some call that Christian faith and some call it any other which faith you want to name it. We convince ourselves that we believe in something far grander than ourselves and we get all emotional and self-righteous. We really believe that there is a GOD- and he is watching over us - personally- feeding our vanity and sense of ME. This present predicament must surely demonstrate that there is indeed no one out there who is going to save us and that the only way any salvation is possible is simply to restore a simple, almost primitive regard for each other as creatures who regard ourselves as above the animals. But don't even count on that as something that will last forever......"


Sometimes reason is just not on the cards.

The Third In A Series Of Truths.

The Second In A Series Of Truths.

The First In A Series Of Truths.

Vegan Fact One.

Protein mix does not taste good.
Not only that but if you try to drink it quickly it feels like there's lots of sand building up in the back of your throat.

Bad times.

The Food Plan.

I have my allocated shelves in the fridge, the bottom shelf of the freezer, my half of the cupboard and have ordered my food. Sure it doesn't arrive for a couple of days but that's fine.
I have a perfect plan. The Vegan Plan.
Genius.
I can't see it failing any time too soon, wish me luck?


p.s. @ Miss Through The Looking Glass, you may well be confused lol but I'll explain the pure genius of my plan when I see you next =]

Long Live The Queen.

First post of the new year!
Miss Through The Looking Glass's film debut and my triumph as it used to be too big for youtube =]





Disclaimer time: I do not own the song, not even a little bit, I just made a video for it.

Things From My Childhood That Make Me Slightly Odd.

• When I was little I loved cherry tomatoes until one day I saw my Mum cut one in half and the middle creeped me out so much I didn't eat them again for years.
• The floors of B&Q had weird multi-coloured patterns on them so whenever we had to get DIY stuff, I stepped on the same colours an equal amount on each foot. But without people noticing, crafty.
• If I moved my hand in a certain way I had to repeat it until I did it exactly the same as I did in the first place.
• I always thought that if no part of my body was outside the duvet then nothing could hurt me.
• I used to get mega upset if I thought someone was going to yell at me, even if they weren't.
• Old ladies always tried to touch my hair, as though they'd never seen long hair before.
• If I didn't know the answer to a question in class I just wrote the letters or numbers so close together that the teacher wouldn't be able to tell whether I'd got it right or not.
• I always thought that ketchup and baked beans were overrated.
• One time when I had cut myself just before having a bath, not long after hearing that sharks could smell blood from really far away, I keep thinking that a shark would smash up through the end of my bath Jaws-styley and attack me. I kept to the other end of the bath.
• I used to love collecting Pokemon cards but never actually played the Pokemon game.
• I used to have elaborate back stories for all of my toys.

"Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns,

I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may."

Happy things.

• Hugs for no reason.
• Parks in the rain.
• Kids TV/toys from the 90's.
• Affectionate animals.
• Brothers.
• Accents.
• Presents.
• Not having to go to work.
• Pay day.
• Tea.
• Spray paints.
• Making nails/hair look pretty.
• It boxes/quiz machines.
• Red.
• Random days that turn out to be awesome.
• "You're a -whatever they said-" and "so's your face" jokes.
• Ye olde english.
• Letters.
• Animation.
• Shopping.